A Mother's Worse Nightmare

I finally updated pictures in the previous post so be sure to scroll down!!

Yesterday something happened that every mother dreads….I came back to my desk at work to a voice mail from the principal concerning Davis…in 6 years of school this has never happened so I was extremely nervous. I tried to call her back but got her voice mail…it took about 8 minutes (of torture and me thinking the absolute worse) and then finally she called back.

I knew it was bad when she said “Let me put Davis on the phone and he can tell you what he has done.” So Davis gets on the phone, in tears, and proceeds to tell me that he and another boy had taken a water bottle, emptied it, filled it back up with toilet water (yes I did just say TOILET water!) and tried to get a 4th grader and then a 3rd grader to drink it!!!

I didn’t even know what to say except “You have no clue how much trouble you are in!! Put the principal back on the phone.”

Miss Cookie got back on the phone and I told her I couldn’t believe what he had done. She agreed and said it was SO out of character for Davis. The other little boy involved with him is constantly getting in trouble but this apparently had been Davis’ idea. Miss Cookie said her first instinct was to suspend them both and not let them make up their work. I told her to do what she felt fit. She said she thought the punishment should fit the crime so the two boys are staying after school (beginning yesterday) all week until 4:15 and they are cleaning the toilets. In addition to that they have to turn in a report about Ecoli by Friday.

When I picked up Davis yesterday she also told me they had to sit out at play time all week and apologize to the other children. I assured her that this would be handled at home as well.

Davis had no explanation as to why he would do something like this…that in itself was frustrating because I have always told him…if you have the nerve to do something you know is wrong you certainly better be able to admit and explain why you did it.

As you can imagine, last night was not pleasant. Davis’ phone is gone, no TV or movies until further notice, he has to work on homework/study for about 2 hours EACH day, clean the house, and miss football all week (Duffer wants to pull him from the team but I feel like he needs football to release all this anger he has). He no longer gets to have a sleepover for his birthday…in other words anything fun is gone.

Davis isn’t one to talk a lot but he finally said last night that he is acting out because he feels like Duffer loves Jett and Rylee more than him…which those who know me have heard me say this many times. Duffer used to be awesome about treating them all the same until Davis got older and he got more involved in Jett’s sports and he just has no patience with the things that are going on with Davis. We discussed this in great detail last night because if all THREE of my kids are not treated well then things will change to correct the situation.

Trust me when I say I do not want anything drastic to happen but my kids come first over my feelings and I have to do what is best for them. It is so easy to blame all of Davis’ problems on his dad who is rarely in the picture, but his home life has a bigger impact on what he does and how he acts as far as I am concerned.

Don’t get me wrong…Duffer is a great dad. He helps me tremendously with the kids by taking them in the mornings to daycare (so we both don’t drive a lot daily) and by giving them baths at night (it still hurts my neck to). Duffer thinks though that kids can be straightened out overnight and it isn’t always that easy. It takes time and consistency and we are going to work on that. Our family has had tremendous stress on us the last year…moving umpteen hundred times and just trying to live day to day with both of us working and trying to keep the kids involved in the sports they want to play. No one understands the sacrifices parents make unless you are a parent yourself!

I want to personally thank my friends that have listened to me vent about this the past two days…I know I haven’t had a chance to talk to all of my friends which I why I am blogging about it. My family has made me feel…even though I am sure they have the best intentions…like I am not making the correct choices as far as how we are discipline and how the school is as well…and my friends have lifted me back up by reassuring me that my discipline choices were fair.

Please keep Davis in your prayers about this and the fact that he never opens up for us to even know what is wrong. It is so hard to help him when we don’t know the problem. I am 99% sure that I will have him repeat 5th grade because he is showing over and over that he is not mature enough for middle school. This will be very hard on him…thinking it’s his last year in elementary school and it not be…but what kind of mom would I be if I send him on when he continuously shows signs of not being ready??? That will only add to his problems in middle school and from my personal experience…the social issues are hard enough to deal with without the homework struggles and responsibility (or lack of) on top of it!

Anyway like I said…all of us need a lot of prayer right now and I know it will work out in the end. A good friend gave me a Bible verse today that really touched me….

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all that he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6, 7