No More Football :(

Well, our life is going to slow down drastically starting today. As many of you know, we have been having a "lot" of difficulty with Davis over the past year.

He isn't responsible enough to remember his homework that was given in school and then to do it when he gets home. While he is doing his homework, he whines, drags it out, does it messy, does it wrong...you name it and it goes on! I started to hold him back in the 4th grade and I really should have.

This school year has been horrible so far with him. I don't know if it is because Jett is there now with him or just his immaturity (he is younger than all the others in his grade...he was 4 when school started and then turned 5 a month later). Whatever the reason, something has to change or he will never make it in middle school.

Davis has always had trouble remembering to bring home the appropriate materials needed to get his homework finished but it has gotten worse. (For example, if he has spelling homework he will leave the words at school.) The teachers are tougher this year yet Davis seems to think nothing will happen to him if he doesn't do it.

To make a long story short...last night was the final straw. When we got home, Davis told me that he had finished all his homework at daycare. We rushed off to Awana and when we got home, I checked it as I always do. He was supposed to do 2 pages in math but he only did one. So we made him finish.

This brought on the same usual behavior...whining, yelling, crying and doing anything he can to try to get out of doing it. He only had 3 word problems to do and it took him over an hour!! These were not difficult at all. One problem was just...Mary has to read 1050 pages, she has read 118 so far, how many pages does she had to read to finish her book? All that is is simple subtraction.

If Davis had always had trouble then I could have more patience but he has always done well in school. His TCAP scores even shocked me (most of them in the advanced range but I have already blogged that before) so I know he has the capability to do it.

Davis' main weakness is DRIVE. He doesn't have it in anything...not sports, not school, not life. He just goes day by day never really putting much effort into anything. If you ask him to do something around the house, it is an instant fight. He starts stomping, yelling, and whining. It really causes a lot of tension for the rest of us who don't act like that.

We have literally tried everything with Davis from counseling, spanking, grounding, soap in mouth, taking away everything (except sports that is) and nothing has worked. So now we are taking away the last thing we can possibly take from him...sports.

I think it kills me more than Duffer...Duffer never stayed in sports because he hated to practice every day where I tried to always be involved in something including playing basketball, softball and cheerleading in middle school and then being on the dance team in high school. The main reason I hate to remove sports...well there are several reasons:

1. When involved in sports in middle school and high school, you HAVE to maintain good grades or you can't play (leverage for us).


2. It is a good way to release any stress you may have.


3. It is a way to stay active and in shape.


4. It is very good for making new friends (something that is hard for Davis with his shyness).


5. It builds self-esteem (also good for Davis who is very insecure).


6. It gives Davis attention that is completely separate from Jett and Rylee...which I think is important when you have siblings.


7. The main reason (and many of you will think this is awful I know) is the fact that Davis is going to DB in high school. IF he has the desire to play any sport at all, he will have to be good because the school is so large. It is 3 times as populated as South was (where I went to high school). Some believe this and some don't, but I believe that being involved in sports keeps you out of the party scene as bad as if you had no obligations at all.

Now I know...I can hear some of my friends arguing with me now ;)...these may seem petty but I worry about these with Davis...too soon to tell about Jett and Rylee yet. I say this based on the amount of effort Davis puts into things.

Even the lady who has watched them since birth, says there is a huge difference in Davis and the other two...as far as school time went. Davis has always just done enough to get by and never tried to really do something great (even though he knew the material). Jett is the most eager to learn and is even "teaching" the others in his class the things he has picked up on so quickly. Rylee is a little mixture of both boys.

How on earth do you explain how important it is to do your absolute best?? We have had every talk you can imagine. I have explained our job differences...such as benefits and paid holidays and vacation...Davis can understand this because his real dad works every weekend, holiday and nights without these benefits.

Anyway, I keep rambling here and I don't mean to. Duffer sent me a note at work today and said that he told Daniel, the football coach, that Davis was off the team due to poor school work. I didn't actually realize that he was quitting completely but I have bit my tongue on this. Nothing else has worked so I am willing to give this a try.

This way we will be home every night. Duffer has agreed to spend two hours a night with Davis on his school work. (We are really hoping we can get him back up to the level he needs to be without having to hold him back in his final year of elementary school...but if he is not ready I am not sending him. Middle school has too many social issues that are hard to deal with and if the level of school work is too difficult on top of that then he will just keep falling backwards).

We have to move one last time...not sure if I blogged that or not but we have been looking at several houses...looking at 7 tomorrow evening...to get us back in the city limits and plan to buy one before the end of the school year)...so some quality time together as a family will do us all some good during these changes.

We meet with Davis' teacher tomorrow...I am totally dreading that! Pray that Davis will get through this and no matter what the outcome, that his attitude will change for the better.